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File: 1492957946075.jpg (9.45 KB, 207x210, mordecai-horror.jpg)

ID: 25928  No.1957

It's not the usual "ongoing drama" that gets posted here, but a friend sent me transcriptions of two conversations he had with an incredibly weird furry– first when he was contacted out-of-the-blue with the guy wanting roleplay, then a 2nd time when the guy just wanted to chat. It's pretty WTF-inducing stuff. While cleaning out a folder in my email box, I found these.

Would TGFB like to read them? I edited them to remove anything identifying except the guy's (it seems former, since I can't find him any more) 'net handle.

ID: 25928  No.1960

Might as well post anyway. See what the denizens here think. He contacted my friend through his OC ask blog. I've added a few thoughts.

the-creepy-pasta-god
Um hello can we rp?

not-at-all-weird-guy
As long as no sex is involved, I suppose so.

the-creepy-pasta-god
Aww OK
I guess I could use some practice with sfw stuff

not-at-all-weird-guy
Please understand, I'm a married (species), I won't cheat on my wife.

((Jake: His OC is indeed married, in-character))

the-creepy-pasta-god
……
What?
I thought we were talking mod to mod

not-at-all-weird-guy
We were, I just briefly changed to IC. :P Sorry

((Jake: He's being silly because of the absurdity of this "hi can we fuck?" attitude))

the-creepy-pasta-god
Please if you could rp as a (species) that I can do nsfw stuff with
I just get so confused and stuff when I don't get nsfw stuff

((Jake: Not getting cybersex "confuses" you? Hoooooboy))

not-at-all-weird-guy
I'm sorry, but I don't do nsfw stuff with strangers. We'll have to get to know each other better before I can do that.

the-creepy-pasta-god
Ok lets do that

not-at-all-weird-guy
Heh, it's okay. So who are you, either mod or character wise?

the-creepy-pasta-god
What do you mean?

not-at-all-weird-guy
Just who you are. I know nothing about you.

the-creepy-pasta-god
I'm afraid I can't tell you that because it will scare you off

not-at-all-weird-guy
That's no good. I can't imagine what you could possibly be like that's worse than the penis golems I have to deal with on a daily basis as a furry artist.

the-creepy-pasta-god
…..what the fuck….
Ya know what no

not-at-all-weird-guy
My life is very weird. xD

the-creepy-pasta-god
I don't want to know

not-at-all-weird-guy
You certainly don't!

the-creepy-pasta-god
Try being the lord of all creepypastas

((Jake: Back when I was first shown these conversations, I looked for this guy to try to locate more of his nuttiness. From what little I found of him elsewhere, he seemed to have his IC/OOC lines a bit blurred. You know that theory that every piece of fiction created now exists in some alternate dimension? You get where I'm going with this…?))

not-at-all-weird-guy
Even the Sonic ones?

the-creepy-pasta-god
….. I'm sorry did I say all?
I'm pretty sure that means all

((Jake: I also found a post from the guy stating he'd only discovered creepypastas a month or so before, and had only read a few. So already, he's their god?))

not-at-all-weird-guy
Oh boy. That actually sounds kind of cool. I have a pal who loves creepypastas.

the-creepy-pasta-god
OK well I would rather not talk about my job right now
So….

((Jake: In the other posts I found, he talked as though this was a real belief: that he was the deity, and had to manage and oversee them all))

not-at-all-weird-guy
So what else?

the-creepy-pasta-god
Idk what else do you want to know?

not-at-all-weird-guy
What your hobbies are, what can your character actually do, how old you are, that kind of stuff

the-creepy-pasta-god
I like to play skyrim. He can do just about anything. He's a god! I'm 15 IRL. Don't judge me. OK…

((Jake: Immaturity ahoy!))

not-at-all-weird-guy
I couldn't judge a 15 y/o.

the-creepy-pasta-god
Why?
How old are you?

not-at-all-weird-guy
Twice as much.
And I remember when I was 15, so I know it isn't exactly the easiest age to go through.

the-creepy-pasta-god
OK then
Do you know enough now?

((Jake: "Can we please fuck now? I'm really horny"))

not-at-all-weird-guy
I suppose it's a start. Anything else I guess I can learn in character.

the-creepy-pasta-god
Um OK then

not-at-all-weird-guy
Anything you would like to know about me or my characters?

the-creepy-pasta-god
Idk
Do you have a character that is a virgin? I could explain why its important but you will possibly throw up and cry.

((Throw up and cry? WTF could be that bad? Keep reading))

not-at-all-weird-guy
I don't think so. Most of my characters are adults, so they have had their chances in the past or have stable relationships.

the-creepy-pasta-god
….. OK just because they have had a chance to lose their virginity doesn't mean they have. There's such thing as not being a whore.

((Jake: record-scratch SFX))

ID: 25928  No.1961

>>1960
The insanity continues:

not-at-all-weird-guy
They have had their chances to lose their virginity to people they trusted and cared about. Except maybe one or two of my characters, who would probably fit your definition of "a whore".

((Jake: a few of his characters are prostitutes, in a setting where sex isn't taboo and prostitution is an entertainment profession like any other))

the-creepy-pasta-god
……
I'm pretty sure I hate you right now

not-at-all-weird-guy
I'm sorry that you do.
Welp, I suppose you may no longer want to befriend me. There go our RPing chances.

the-creepy-pasta-god
Listen let's assume that all your characters that aren't in a relationship are virgins OK?
It just makes more sense then everyone in your universe being a stupid whore

((Jake: I wonder if maybe this guy grew up in a fundie Christian household, and is
basing his ideas on a twisted perception of morality…?))

not-at-all-weird-guy
How about those who had sex while in relationships that eventually ended?

the-creepy-pasta-god
No
Just no

not-at-all-weird-guy
Very well then, no RPing it is.

the-creepy-pasta-god
I'm trying to work out a comprise that can make this rp possible
I need some god damn cooperation from you

((Jake: Cooperation!?))

not-at-all-weird-guy
I'm afraid your points of view are too strict for this game to work. My characters sexual status should not be of any relevance anyway.

the-creepy-pasta-god
Just because people have had the opportunities to have sex before doesn't mean they have had sex before. Take for existence a nun. A nun has had the chance before she became a nun but guess what. She didn't do it. And that's why she is able to be a nun. She didn't have sex. Very simple.
And it is very relevant
Its gonna be nsfw isn't it?
I require my mate to be a virgin at first

((Jake: I really think this reads like morality as seen through the eyes of a 15-year-old with
raging hormones, who grew up with devoutly religious, restrictive family. What I think he means is, "a woman must only have sex with their life-partner-to-be"))

not-at-all-weird-guy
I'm sorry, that won't happen. I've barely known you for a few hours, I can only provide clean stories.

the-creepy-pasta-god
Then let's wait a day or two for the friendship to sink in a bit

not-at-all-weird-guy
Are you sure there are no other (art site) users you can RP sex with?

the-creepy-pasta-god
Nope

((Jake: Weirded 'em all away, huh?))

not-at-all-weird-guy
Please, I do not want to RP sex with you, nor do I want to force a friendship for that specific purpose.

the-creepy-pasta-god
Nobody else really answers because they're too busy whoring themselves out to everyone else to rp sex with
Also. Why?

not-at-all-weird-guy
Well, I only "whore myself out" to people I deeply care about, and that level of care takes a long time to develop. You can't just push it in order to get sex with someone you don't really know anything about. That would be, in fact, being a whore.

the-creepy-pasta-god
……
I'll wait and get to know you
That's the point I tried to get across before

((Jake: And yet you acted as though this could be done in five minutes))

not-at-all-weird-guy
For as many years as required?

the-creepy-pasta-god
Years?! Damn um OK sure I guess…

not-at-all-weird-guy
Very well then. Here's to the beginning of a solid friendship.

the-creepy-pasta-god
OK

ID: 25928  No.1962

>>1961
A few days later, my friend gets another message from this guy. It runs a little something like this:

the-creepy-pasta-god
I did it!
I sealed the deal

not-at-all-weird-guy
Hooray!

the-creepy-pasta-god
I finally have some form of release!
My balls have been aching
I just wish I had something to empty this backed up cum into so I don't have to make a huge mess
I suppose you could never help with that

((So he finally realized that there's a way to end blue balls?))

not-at-all-weird-guy
I use a towel.

the-creepy-pasta-god
BTW I meant like a living thing. Like a person!
You wouldn't ever help me by any chance would ya?
Like in the future

((Jake: Does he really mean "can we meet and fuck"??))

not-at-all-weird-guy
I don't think I follow.

the-creepy-pasta-god
With my problem
I need a person to empty into

((Jake: Oh, I see. Gotta use a person. Can't masturbate, oh, no! Remember what happened to Onan? Also, "empty into"?? Easy guide to sex! Step one: insert tab A into slot B. Step 2: empty cum. Step 3: Finished!))

not-at-all-weird-guy
Well, I'm straight, so no.

the-creepy-pasta-god
Exactly as I thought
Would you happen to know someone who would help?

((Jake: Note that he's not asking whether my friend is a virgin))

not-at-all-weird-guy
Nope. I don't think I have any friend who is into being ejaculated into by a stranger.

the-creepy-pasta-god
Ok
What do you think would happen if I used my dog?

((Jake: Once again, record-scratch SFX))

not-at-all-weird-guy
You would probably get arrested for animal abuse.

the-creepy-pasta-god
Abuse?
Hell he wants it!
Ive woken up to him trying to lick my cock

((Jake: My brain has just blue-screened))

not-at-all-weird-guy
Yyyeah, that's a moral dilemma right there. I'm going to not give an opinion there.

the-creepy-pasta-god
He's a strange animal
Anyway
I don't think I'll use him
Any ideas on who I could use?

((Jake: Not gonna fuck Spot? Best decision you've made all day! "Use" is the keyword here, as will be seen below))

not-at-all-weird-guy
No one. Just discard it. Ejaculating into people is a very specific fetish I am not interested in, but I'm pretty sure that lovers are the only eligible people for that activity.

the-creepy-pasta-god
Its not a fetish dumbass!
I explained this before
I'm in heat!
I need a mate
During this time I need sex more than anything
Sex involves cumming inside my mate

((Lessee: uber-religious + not yet really grasping that being a furry doesn't necessarily equal
actually possessing animal traits = ???))

not-at-all-weird-guy
Sex does not involve cumming inside a mate. That's sex for the purpose of reproduction. Human kind (and actually several other animal species) has created lots of kinds of sex that require no internal ejaculation.

the-creepy-pasta-god
I'm not sure if you know what heat is then
Heat is when you crave a mate and sex with said mate FOR REPRODUCTION! and besides it physically impossible for me to pull out anyway

((Jake: What, does he think he has a knot or something? This is what happens when the only things you know about the mechanics of sex, you learned on furry story sites which don't ping Covenant Eyes))

not-at-all-weird-guy
Please, let's stop talking about sex. It's making me really uncomfortable.

the-creepy-pasta-god
Then understand my struggle for five minutes!

((Jake: Read: "give me exactly what I want, or else! My nads really hurt, and I can't jerk off or dad'll get out the paddle!"))

not-at-all-weird-guy
I think I'm going to leave now. I'll see you later.

the-creepy-pasta-god
Whatever!

((Jake: He was blocked at this point))



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