A few days later, my friend gets another message from this guy. It runs a little something like this:
I did it!
I sealed the deal
I finally have some form of release!
My balls have been aching
I just wish I had something to empty this backed up cum into so I don't have to make a huge mess
I suppose you could never help with that
((So he finally realized that there's a way to end blue balls?))
I use a towel.
BTW I meant like a living thing. Like a person!
You wouldn't ever help me by any chance would ya?
Like in the future
((Jake: Does he really mean "can we meet and fuck"??))
I don't think I follow.
With my problem
I need a person to empty into
((Jake: Oh, I see. Gotta use a person. Can't masturbate, oh, no! Remember what happened to Onan? Also, "empty into"?? Easy guide to sex! Step one: insert tab A into slot B. Step 2: empty cum. Step 3: Finished!))
Well, I'm straight, so no.
Exactly as I thought
Would you happen to know someone who would help?
((Jake: Note that he's not asking whether my friend is a virgin))
Nope. I don't think I have any friend who is into being ejaculated into by a stranger.
What do you think would happen if I used my dog?
((Jake: Once again, record-scratch SFX))
You would probably get arrested for animal abuse.
Hell he wants it!
Ive woken up to him trying to lick my cock
((Jake: My brain has just blue-screened))
Yyyeah, that's a moral dilemma right there. I'm going to not give an opinion there.
He's a strange animal
I don't think I'll use him
Any ideas on who I could use?
((Jake: Not gonna fuck Spot? Best decision you've made all day! "Use" is the keyword here, as will be seen below))
No one. Just discard it. Ejaculating into people is a very specific fetish I am not interested in, but I'm pretty sure that lovers are the only eligible people for that activity.
Its not a fetish dumbass!
I explained this before
I'm in heat!
I need a mate
During this time I need sex more than anything
Sex involves cumming inside my mate
((Lessee: uber-religious + not yet really grasping that being a furry doesn't necessarily equal
actually possessing animal traits = ???))
Sex does not involve cumming inside a mate. That's sex for the purpose of reproduction. Human kind (and actually several other animal species) has created lots of kinds of sex that require no internal ejaculation.
I'm not sure if you know what heat is then
Heat is when you crave a mate and sex with said mate FOR REPRODUCTION! and besides it physically impossible for me to pull out anyway
((Jake: What, does he think he has a knot or something? This is what happens when the only things you know about the mechanics of sex, you learned on furry story sites which don't ping Covenant Eyes))
Please, let's stop talking about sex. It's making me really uncomfortable.
Then understand my struggle for five minutes!
((Jake: Read: "give me exactly what I want, or else! My nads really hurt, and I can't jerk off or dad'll get out the paddle!"))
I think I'm going to leave now. I'll see you later.
((Jake: He was blocked at this point))